one astonishing week

Its been a nice and calm week lately. I haven't been oh so crazy but i've had my fair share of fun. I hope you guys have been having that too :)

One thing i realized though, is that through anything or everything, there is always an end. or at LEAST a problem. In this case if you put too/so much effort or passion or feeling everything will just end up a big mess. And with this guy, not my so-called boyfriend right now, really showed me how impossibly destructive, heartless a boy can get. I wont call him a man, cause i basically think he isn't. When you put all of that out for that one thing you dream or of you aim for, you in the end get it one way or another. But at the end of that journey there is always 2 endings, either your happy that you got it or your depressed and you got it. And at this point in my journey, im just done. Im tired of knowing at the end of the road that ties me and him up, something is just always there. something dangling, something untrustworthy. And this also shows that men can't also be trusted. Have you ever had a feeling that something is up, something strange is up but you have no evidence to back it up, but that feelings so strong that you know your right? Exactly how I feel right now. No matter what excuse that person is going to give to me, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

Its not the effort I give to the relationship that matters, its all the lies you got yourself caught up that you don't realize the person or thing you love is hurt.

A lot of things has been on my mind, but then again maybe its cause Im starting school soon. But I also need to keep in mind that I need to focus. I gotta keep my eye on the price. And its really astonishing that I have to deal with all these crappy feelings NOW when im about to head back to school. I was hoping for a at least a peaceful welcome-back sign, but all that anyones giving me is an alert-you-shall-die sign. Great. Another shitiiiiieeee week in the day of a life of dantha. Great.