Park=a good soothing place

Well I had a pretty good and quite day today

I had breakfast, the best apple pie i can get at 8 in the morning :)

And a park that was very cozy and relaxing

I had a little company for a short time and he made me think about my mistakes and realize that it isn't as easy as that.

He only stayed for a quite while, but his words and reasuring stayed

Namesake is the name of the book that my brother gave me

Its a about a kid that lost his true color or devotion or love to his culture

And how he deals with it

oke, straight down that is soooooo what iam going through!

And the book is going great

Hoping to get out of the house again, CAUSE IAM ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF IF TOMORROW IAM STILL AT HOME :(

I want to swim or jog somewhere so i can take all the bullshit out

Which i know no one would let me, but hey its worth trying

not feeling too good

I have not been feeling good lately since this morning..

My sickness is coming back and its barbaric!

My mind and body is going loco..

ughhhhhhhhhh!!

I just want to get out and swim or like do something like run or tennis..

Just to break this wholeeeee thing out of my mind..

Well I had this ridiculous fight with my mom today and Im not liking it at all..

I think thats where I got the headache, cause of holding all that feelings in

Well now I cant eat or rest

Im wanting to get out my house but I really want to go to my bro's place ONLY!

Im seriously not taking the report card thing any serious anymore with the fight that i just had from my mama

and I really don't care what kinda of fight she going to pick up

But hopefully that i get to go to china and like get away from her and my family for awhile..

I'd be nice to see vanilla, my chinese BF, again :(

GOD i miss her!

I wish you guys all a good holiday, and lets just hope Im not grounded FOREVER

Stinky week, I smell the coming on KARMA!

Seriously Im in the blues right now..

I've been thinking of soooo many stuff its crazy!

I don't know what to accept right now, either Im getting my karma BAD or Im just having it all inside my head..

Ohhhh, btw I took the kepribadian test with ryan and it went pretty good. not that bad..

Back to topic. And now I don't know what to do in this situation because I put myself or made my self emotionaly attached with the person :/

Thats why I try to NEVER EVER fall in love with someone, because you know that every single guy is capable and WILL END UP breakin your heart up for some other bitch at you know very well your better then..

ughhhhhhhhhh! I don't like thinking, cause that just makes me play by the rules and actually thinking about someone's feelings other then mines!!!!!!

Good morning jakarta :)

So its been really weird lately, these past few days. I felt like I was being exam'd and I am in this little box where everyone can see my little do's and flaws. I dont like the attention Im getting even if i would like to be the eye of everything. And it freaks me the hell out!

I wonder whats going to happen next.

Well all I know right now is hopefully that in my report card their is at least 2 A+ or 1 B.. Need serious need of those A and B's :(

Keep making the usual mistakes, and its insane. And especially when you think its for a good cause but it just ends up as living hell! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

My insecurity's are very high up these days and Im very great full. I get to see the downside of being the girl that take's nothing but give's everything.. I wonder what my ex would say about this.. hummmmmmmm

Different child, different approach

My parents have 5 children. Thats a lot for a normal married couple of almost 30 years. And Im not implying they don't know how to raise me, no don't get me wrong. I think their the best a parent can get, and besides the fact that they already raised 3 before me.

And I feel kinda sorry, for letting them raise me. I mean I am the most spoiled most ab-noxious greedy, egoistic, self centered daughter anyone can get. But Im glad through all of that I bloomed into someone very liberal and understanding to other peoples feeling :) people say i got it from my dad..

But thats not the issue right now. The issue right now, would probably be how parents always seem to make every single kid the same. 

isn't that like supposed to be a problem? And I wonder how people like B'jork, Amy winehouse could stand out.

I don't know if Im the only child that seems to have a problem but its like Im treated and look to as my brothers and sisters. Look I know I am not the brightest and Im not the best, but wouldn't you guys like to see the other part of me that would make you feel happy and proud? And it feels like shit when you realize you try your best just to know that in the end, its all not worth it.

Maybe cause iam grounded all my supress-anger is all built up and everything around me just seems unfair. But now I seem to realize that silencs is gold. And through all of that fighting is really NOT the answer..

UAS!!!!

EXAMS ARE A BITCH!!!!!!

Yes as you can see, IAM STILL GROUNDED!

and I'm sick :(

fuck banget deh, been having a long week and its UAS WEEK! wish me luck guys, cause it gonna be one hell of a week..

well at least i got new JADE jeans and some new flat ZARA shoes! guess grounded sessions aren't half that bad :)

I've been sick and i cant get out of bed, my head hurts and my stomach is really not being friendly with the situation and i have a zillion things running through my mind right now.. UGHHHHHH!! ubeeeeer stressed out! anyone?!

I cant lie, i have been feeling a little bit dissapointed with someone I thought  knew well.. guess I was wrong. I quite understood and I guess went through what you so called friendship and i guess my sister was right, their is no such thing as a TRUE friendship. Had enough of my fair share for the month, I just wanna get the exams done and get school over with!

REALISING THAT THEIR IS NO ONE ELSE THERE BUT YOU.

Is probably something I learned the hard way, but hey!

If you dont go through it, you'll never know.

all right, enough of as it is..

SKIT SKIT BANG BANG HOMZIIIIEEEE!