not feeling too good

I have not been feeling good lately since this morning..

My sickness is coming back and its barbaric!

My mind and body is going loco..

ughhhhhhhhhh!!

I just want to get out and swim or like do something like run or tennis..

Just to break this wholeeeee thing out of my mind..

Well I had this ridiculous fight with my mom today and Im not liking it at all..

I think thats where I got the headache, cause of holding all that feelings in

Well now I cant eat or rest

Im wanting to get out my house but I really want to go to my bro's place ONLY!

Im seriously not taking the report card thing any serious anymore with the fight that i just had from my mama

and I really don't care what kinda of fight she going to pick up

But hopefully that i get to go to china and like get away from her and my family for awhile..

I'd be nice to see vanilla, my chinese BF, again :(

GOD i miss her!

I wish you guys all a good holiday, and lets just hope Im not grounded FOREVER

DADS BIRTHDAY SURPRISE :)

DADS LOVELY BIRTHDAY SURPRISE WAS A SUCCESS :D

Iam sorry that i have not been writing too much lately the pass week because of dads birthday surprise and of course my exams and all the fucked up drama! But its been really good lately and I have been putting things in balance and extremely happy of myself and proud of course of what I have done, even if its not something Iam proud of. guess

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO, NOT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO

Besides dads birthday, I had my exams this pass week. And i had put all my time and effort! crazy-crazy little shit and PKN the WHOLE CLASS had to take remedials. ughhhhhhhhhhh.. Other then that, since you all know my promise about changing myself because of all the grounding I have had. I am proud to say i have done some off theeee above :) Challenging myself has never been so fun!

I had gogirl! magazine since like the first time it came out, and iam like CRAZY over it.. maybe cause this time its actually good!

notes to remebere:

1. MUST check agnes's monic's dance course's
2. pay GO before kelas 3
3. make the scrapbook!
4. photoshoot and gogirl! hunt

All right yall's! I gotta bounce :D

KISS KISS BANG BANG!!

The life on the other side is always and will always be better

"Grass is always greener on the other side"

I've been writing in very dark colors lately, maybe cause my mood would be better or should be better then this.

I've been thinking and maybe I was always right with my intentions and feelings. 

Im the type of girl that always falls in the same hole she feel before and keeps doing so until she's tired and then corrects herself. And right now, as you read this you might've thought that I am either stupid, pathetic, lame, irresponsible, and tiring. And yes your guess is right

My yesterdays talk with my sister and mother, really got me. Maybe this time I am wrong.

Hard to admit for someone like dantha. And maybe this time I should start changing. Weird part is, I'm willing to do anything BUT change

Instead I have decide NOT to change BUT to do as they say.

shocked?

I've been wrong in everyones eyes, and i'm tired of trying to change myself for people that are never going to be happy with anything i do. So maybe this time I should try to just shut up and let ego this time chill for a sec

well i guess their is change, but change in the way I think about everyone and the way I should behave. Kinda scared of the challange I put myself this time because this time its a risky behavior and I have never tried it. So lets see how far i can go with being:

1. having a distance with EVERYONE

2. keep my thoughts and feelings to myself

3. TRUST no one

4. cut the crap and care less for bullshit

5. Do WHAT I WANT, without ANYONE stopping me

I hope this works