Park=a good soothing place

Well I had a pretty good and quite day today

I had breakfast, the best apple pie i can get at 8 in the morning :)

And a park that was very cozy and relaxing

I had a little company for a short time and he made me think about my mistakes and realize that it isn't as easy as that.

He only stayed for a quite while, but his words and reasuring stayed

Namesake is the name of the book that my brother gave me

Its a about a kid that lost his true color or devotion or love to his culture

And how he deals with it

oke, straight down that is soooooo what iam going through!

And the book is going great

Hoping to get out of the house again, CAUSE IAM ABOUT TO KILL MYSELF IF TOMORROW IAM STILL AT HOME :(

I want to swim or jog somewhere so i can take all the bullshit out

Which i know no one would let me, but hey its worth trying

Stinky week, I smell the coming on KARMA!

Seriously Im in the blues right now..

I've been thinking of soooo many stuff its crazy!

I don't know what to accept right now, either Im getting my karma BAD or Im just having it all inside my head..

Ohhhh, btw I took the kepribadian test with ryan and it went pretty good. not that bad..

Back to topic. And now I don't know what to do in this situation because I put myself or made my self emotionaly attached with the person :/

Thats why I try to NEVER EVER fall in love with someone, because you know that every single guy is capable and WILL END UP breakin your heart up for some other bitch at you know very well your better then..

ughhhhhhhhhh! I don't like thinking, cause that just makes me play by the rules and actually thinking about someone's feelings other then mines!!!!!!

Good morning jakarta :)

So its been really weird lately, these past few days. I felt like I was being exam'd and I am in this little box where everyone can see my little do's and flaws. I dont like the attention Im getting even if i would like to be the eye of everything. And it freaks me the hell out!

I wonder whats going to happen next.

Well all I know right now is hopefully that in my report card their is at least 2 A+ or 1 B.. Need serious need of those A and B's :(

Keep making the usual mistakes, and its insane. And especially when you think its for a good cause but it just ends up as living hell! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

My insecurity's are very high up these days and Im very great full. I get to see the downside of being the girl that take's nothing but give's everything.. I wonder what my ex would say about this.. hummmmmmmm

DADS BIRTHDAY SURPRISE :)

DADS LOVELY BIRTHDAY SURPRISE WAS A SUCCESS :D

Iam sorry that i have not been writing too much lately the pass week because of dads birthday surprise and of course my exams and all the fucked up drama! But its been really good lately and I have been putting things in balance and extremely happy of myself and proud of course of what I have done, even if its not something Iam proud of. guess

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO, NOT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO

Besides dads birthday, I had my exams this pass week. And i had put all my time and effort! crazy-crazy little shit and PKN the WHOLE CLASS had to take remedials. ughhhhhhhhhhh.. Other then that, since you all know my promise about changing myself because of all the grounding I have had. I am proud to say i have done some off theeee above :) Challenging myself has never been so fun!

I had gogirl! magazine since like the first time it came out, and iam like CRAZY over it.. maybe cause this time its actually good!

notes to remebere:

1. MUST check agnes's monic's dance course's
2. pay GO before kelas 3
3. make the scrapbook!
4. photoshoot and gogirl! hunt

All right yall's! I gotta bounce :D

KISS KISS BANG BANG!!

The life on the other side is always and will always be better

"Grass is always greener on the other side"

I've been writing in very dark colors lately, maybe cause my mood would be better or should be better then this.

I've been thinking and maybe I was always right with my intentions and feelings. 

Im the type of girl that always falls in the same hole she feel before and keeps doing so until she's tired and then corrects herself. And right now, as you read this you might've thought that I am either stupid, pathetic, lame, irresponsible, and tiring. And yes your guess is right

My yesterdays talk with my sister and mother, really got me. Maybe this time I am wrong.

Hard to admit for someone like dantha. And maybe this time I should start changing. Weird part is, I'm willing to do anything BUT change

Instead I have decide NOT to change BUT to do as they say.

shocked?

I've been wrong in everyones eyes, and i'm tired of trying to change myself for people that are never going to be happy with anything i do. So maybe this time I should try to just shut up and let ego this time chill for a sec

well i guess their is change, but change in the way I think about everyone and the way I should behave. Kinda scared of the challange I put myself this time because this time its a risky behavior and I have never tried it. So lets see how far i can go with being:

1. having a distance with EVERYONE

2. keep my thoughts and feelings to myself

3. TRUST no one

4. cut the crap and care less for bullshit

5. Do WHAT I WANT, without ANYONE stopping me

I hope this works