Trust

Trust is a real big word.

Trust is something you know you can put all your hopes apon. And you know that by all the chance he or she or it doesn't fail you and has your interest best at heart.

I think yesterday I could or may have seen a GLIMPSE of that so called trust.

I personally think trust the base of every foundation of every relationship.I know that I have crushed my family's, but hey I know I can always get it back.

What I dont except or come to think came through was that I needed to be treated differently then my sisters and brother.

IM veeeeeeeeery different. And everyone knows that.

So yesterday I went out with imuh to pim and met my boyfriend. Which by now, everyone HATES.

His a bad guy, no. I dont know, but the people that are more older do.

I'm the type of person who would see it first and then believe it.

And I personally haven't see it.

And you know what that equaled to?

GROUNDED FOR A MONTH WITH NO MONEY, NO SHOPPING AND NO WAY OUT OF AFTER SCHOOL PARTIES.

People or teenagers that might have gone through what I went through might introspek themselves and think what they went wrong.

I KNOW WHAT I DID WRONG.

And personally for me this is something I should change MYSELF to other people.

And I must admit, it was my fault because i was:

1. selfish

2. wants to win

3. Do or say things without thinking twice

4. Does not give back what should be given back

Iam sorry to say my life lesson here would be:

1. I WILL NEVER EVER EVER AND EVER will trust ANYONE

2. I will LEARN to understand other peoples feelings MORE

3. Iam going to have to learn how to keep a distance with my family

4. I will LEARN how to or what I should tell him

5. And I should play with rules

It really weird, but what happened to me yesterday night really changed me into something I have never ever though I was.

My WEEK

Okay, this week has been the most weirdest and retarted week of the year.

I had not just 1, but wait ... 2 bitch fights which required energy of the brain rather then my hand.

I had no idea what was coming and i swore I had everything in the right way.

Well one happened to someone I happen to deal with every single day. It turned out everything was a lessoned learn for everyone, but IT the problem, really got me thinking of how I should've learned more and dealt with people and their personalities. I think everyone knows by now, that friendship isn't about talking behind their back, but really about dealing with one another's differences. But I really found out it, ones your close to someone you come to realize that, that person you came close is your worst enemy. It hits you straight and hard. But it all comes down to you, do you need these people to survive? Or is it you that need other peoples attention, cause you lost to the greatest enemy, YOU?

The other problem has not been settled down yet, but I hope the truth will come out soon. DONT ever deny your own feelings, because the most important thing in this game of backstabbing and friendship and lies, IS YOU.