2010

HAPPY 2010 EVERYONE :D

Its been 22 min passed 1st jan of 2010
BUT I FEEL LIKE NOTHINGS CHANGED.
I had a different new year, thanks to my hubby RAMADITYA :)
I love him muucchoooo muuccchooo!
And we had a ball when we keliling2 and found now place to go, but back home
his home :)

It was alright, nothing special
Just a home thing, but I felt very special to be with him
I never thought of actually having my new years just being with someone
But its the feeling of one and hoping to go to another new years with him that makes me feel so much better

HAPPY 2010 EVERYONE
MAY GOD SHOWER US WITH ALL THE BLESSINGS AND WEALTH AND HAPPINESS
MAY 2010 BE THE YEAR WHERE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE REVOLUTIONIZE TO BE BETTER, STRONGER, WISER AND OLDER
AMIIIIIIIINNNNN :)

I hope where ever you guys are, you guys had a fantastic new year, and a welcoming of a new chapter
how did you guys spend it?

Well as i promise its already 2010 and I HAVE YET NOT WRITTEN my new years resolution
And all I can say I want right now is to be able to be:
BETTER
WISER
SMARTER
STRONGER
CALMER
LUCKY
CHARMING
UNSTOP-ABLE
INVINCIBLE
CUTER
CUNNING
WITTY
RATIONAL
LOVING
CARING
UNDERSTANDING

The list just keeps getting on and on
but most importantly I want to be able to DREAM HIGH, GAIN HIGHER, REACH HIGHER, BE HIGHER, BE THE HIGHEST, BE THE GOAL
Besides, I AM A DESTINY NOT A JOURNEY

2009 is a stepping stone and for me 2010 is my next step to the future
I hope that this year will bring me fortune that will reach infinity, give me love that's unconditional, shower me with all the best luck that god can give, and bloom me into a beautiful flower
Im leaving the old me of 2009 in exchanged for a new opportunity to create and groom a new one




I WILL MAKE IT. I WILL BE THERE. AND THAT WILL BE ME


SEE ME IN 2010 PEOPLE

KEEP TALKING, AND KEEP BACKSTABBING
I WONT BE HERE WITHOUT YOU GUYS :)

XOXXO <3

POTONG RAMBUT=BUANG SIAL :D

I cut my hair.. and this is me RIGHT NOW.

Its soooo short!

Anywho by the who, While I was cutting my hair
I came forth to decide that....






I will DONATE ALL MY HAIR ( when Im dead in the land of kill me forever ) to make wigs for girls who have cancer that have lost all their hair
The mesmerizing foundation: LOCKS OF LOVE

Which can be seen here on their website : http://www.locksoflove.org/

I knew of their website cause of oprah, and her revolutionary show
Locks of love are for people who need hair, and since were capable of giving. why not give them our hair as a sign of love?
We need to give back what we have
I hope one day I will be able to help someone smile even larger cause of the hair they got. And how much devotion, love and care I give to them even if I have not gotten a chance tp know them
Let me be one with them.

2010? soooooo not the bomb!

So I finally realize how good this book is. Seriously the chapter on Rome was just pointless. You can really see her weakness and boundaries on the India chapter which I felt she really gave the readers something to read about :)
I like the part where is express's or puts all those negative things into one meaningful point, GOD
Yes I've been thinking about it since reading the book

No matter what religion you are, god is one.

fyi'S

This movie was out July 17, 2009. Cuma too bad It didn't stay long here in indo!
It's a love story of a geek that never did find love, But since he was a kid he loved and believed very deeply in true love and soul mates.
And summer, well she the weird girl that just... is weird.
Its when they finally "fall in love" everything in the world is theirs.
Until he faces the utter most bitter reality that she's just NOT THAT INTO HIM.
Its a story that, I believe, Is an independent movie with a lot of feel and very nice touching meaning.
A must watch BEFORE 2009 ends, hihiii. yes I was late to watch it too :)
Best movie of 2009, must must watch!

Another really weird fact is that I just found out that zooey dechanel, is actually A SIBLING of my favorite shows on tv, BONES. Yes she's emily deschanel's sister.. How weird is that?!

Any who, Iam currently reading the book EAT LOVE and PRAY. which by the way, touching but really boring in the beginning. It has no english structural understanding and is really bad at getting her point across. I don't understand why its getting good reviews but Im guessing she's got good channels. I'll keep you posted on this though..

Well MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :)

I hope that for everyone who is celebrating it, gets there guidance. And gets LOTS AND LOTS OF PRESENTS! mhuehueheh..

A week of rejuvination

I absolutely love this week
Yes I did eventually have my Birthday at portico senayan city and had a great time
The pictures are still with my girl yasmine, but she might be on vacation so they arent posted
I celebrated my bday 5 TIMES mhuahuaha, with 5 of my best entourages
clubbing has not been any thing listed on my to do bday sensation.

BUT IT WOULD'NT BE DANTHA WITHOUT ONE :D
So Im partying it up for new years and maybe this weekend!
You gotta love christmas and new years don't ya?!

Well I had my date out with my baby boboooo, aka ardan
We switched christmas presents and still cant let go of his pashmina
It smells like his mom or a girls perfume, mhauhauha
but still its the reason of giving that matters :)- xoxxo

Im starting to take TOFEL preparations 4 of Jan from Monday till Thursday from 7-9 at night and I will be damn exhausted with everything pilled up
I DON'T CARE WHAT MY MOM SAID ABOUT DRIVING LESSONS IM STILL TAKING IT

And yesterday My mom's cousins daughter just gave birth to a lovely boy, his soo amazing such a bundle of sunshine

panicking out=NO RESERVATION FOR MY BDAY PAARTTY :(

Im not joking.
IM FREAKING OUT OF MY MIND RIGHT NOW
I was going to have dinner with my girlfriends at helens bakery turns out my reservation couldn't deal with it cause they had another person booking the whole goddamn resto. FUCK -.-

Well my other options are of course, portico and sushi tei or sushi groove! I can't think of anywhere else to take my girls out to eat
I hate it when my moms words come into mind when I get into situations like these
I NEVER HAVE PLANNING -.-

DIEING FOR THESE :(

I found our about her collection a while back, but I had a reaction and just want to get them ASAP :(

SWEET SWEEET 17 :)

:):):):)

Happiness for my birthday, that's all I have been feeling today
Its great, i had like more then 100 comments of happy birthdays and I had a huge surprise waktu diceplokn pake cofffe, telor dan BEKAS MINYAK GORENG
which by the way made me veeeeery veeery sticky and disgusting and like... BAD SMELLING -.-

HAPPY SWEET 17TH BIRTHDAY FOR ME :D

I want to give a shoutout to cut naila, thank you for reading me. I read your blogs too 8)

H-2

Udah h-2 tetep aja nih belum ada feeling of festivites -.-

H-10

Yes, hihihi.. Its 10 days till my B Day ya'll :D

Im exploding with absolute excitement and joy of going to be 17
I'm not excepting anything crazy this year, but Iam looking forward to spending it with some of my close close besties! just to make sure I have a good memory that would last a lifetime
Im sure I will not have any regret but will be full of gradatude and blessings

Im sick today and I have a whole plan of studying coming up, I dont even know if im gonna be in school tomorrow :(

well on the other account, I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS cause im going to be spending it with my baby faaattyy up in pacific place. I hope the weather would be wet and foggy and cold so it would feel or look like christmas when we were both in NY :)

how is everyone now? feeling the holiday spirits yet?

morning sunshines :)

Ive been up since like 5 in the morning
MORNING SAYAAANG :)
my baby rama isn't ever awake at this hour, so i just thought I'd give my love out for him here

Im definitely excited for today. My cousins coming over today, and im heading to see my doctor FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS I have not been in her office, hahaha
And maybe go to this garage sale with my cousin up near my school
I NEED NEW BIKINIS :(

So today im looking for tofel preparation places, kinda excited for the next step TO NYC DAWWWWG :D
hmmm, I think im gonna miss a bunch of my friends. and then a couple of MAD ASS GOOD FOOD, and absolutely gret hangout places
But dont worry ya'll when I get to LA I wont forget you guys! come to my concerts yaaa
Im also getting my mental ready for the cruel things that are coming my way later in uni.. which yes im not ready yet. BUT OVERALL EXCITED!

bangbang shoutout to my homeboy

ARDAN
this is written in green because of the so many frogs he killed in his life :)

circumstances

hehehhe, yaaaay! gw jadian ama rama, And thankfully imuh doesn't seem to have a problem with him
Im absolutely delighted with his presence around me. He has been making me a happy person with all his preciousness and kindness

Time is of the essence. And unfortunately im running out of those
decisions are like stepping stones. To reach a point in life where you are felt most suitable.
Since I was a tiny toddler I never really understood the meaning of belonging.
I was never at place more then 6 years, and situations including morals, change
Dont get me wrong, there are a lot of positivity that comes out of all of that
But its that small part that until this day, I have not quite grasped the meaning

Im almost 17 years old now, 2 weeks and 2 days 12 hours remaning
And I still dont understand.
Situations after situations builds my characteristics. well enough to know that I finally CAN FEEL the feeling of belonging
But that doesn't stop the rain from coming.

I <3 NY, I really do.
I wanna go back, who doesnt?! but I dont want to lose everything I have put up since i have been here
Studies is my main priority and I want and need the best
I think deciding to pursue my studies back in the states is an amazing, challenging and mind-bobbling idea.
But I dont think thats what i need right now
But yet again, what am I to decide what the future has in store for me?
I cant bare to say goodbye to everything I have gained and earned, but I cant wait for the welcoming of a new era.

Maturing and adult thinking encourages me to be more and more diligent
I have to be more diligent and careful with the sacrifices that are layed

ughhhhh, i hate deciding

think before action

Im in a very lost and confused state right now, and my friend recommended me to this guy who clearly has 6 sense's
And what he said clearly made sense

I NEVER INTEND for it to happen, And i clearly don't need all the drama and tension that must be taken for a relationship, but of my foolish self, it just happens
Im stuck between 2 people
And another guy that says he loves me but sleeps with more then 5 girls behind my back
lets says, A B and C.
C, well me and him ARE SO CALLED IN A RELATIONSHIP and its almost 8months. No one ever said the words break up, but we have boundaries when we need em.
A, this guy. His unopen, and i cant deal with that. With me, its either you catch me now. OR NEVER. And i guess this guys git isnt enough to float with my boat. Yoga was right, as he is, I DONT KNOW THIS A GUY LUAR DAN DALEM. ngapan gw suka ama orang yang belum tentu suka sama gw!?
B has deff been the sweetest of them all. First time we met and dia uda kerumah gw :)
Dia uda ngungkapn rasa sayang dia ke gw, dan uda siap untuk ngjaga gw luar dan dalem. Tapi kenapa ya gw nga bisa ngrasa senyaman gw kalo gw bersama A dan C?
Yoga also told me that i need time to chill, relax and pick whats best for me. Cause at the end of the day, all that matters would be me.

Im confused..

AND i have decided..

rain rain rain

The rain for me has always been the time where i let all my thoughts wash away, just like the rain
Well I decided to do something different this time, I've decided to share it with you :)

Im going through a point in life where I feel like I need to take a rest from all this insanity and try something new, do EVERYTHING NEW
I don't necessary understand myself when im saying this, but I do know this.
I done with mistakes, Im done with issues. Im done with this.
I wanna live in peace, but every time I take that leap of faith I get 5 steps back to torture.

When I first told myself, too cool down from any crazy dumbness and to re-evaluate, I never thought that I would understand and sync myself this far
I know what I WANT, what I NEED, what I LOVE, what IM WILLING TO HOLD
Im pretty independent and proud of what I found, but im not happy with he result of the hidden, the reality
Im ashamed of the mistakes, crucible by the truth
Its very unsatisfying to know that all your effort and strength were all part of a big play that didn't show

I think all this jibberesh is the sum of all the frustration stuck and crumbled in my mind
Exams are coming, AND COMING FAST :( and im extremely scared of whats gonna pop out of those papers!
What if i dont get in? what if what i pick for myself isn't that thing for me?!
IS ANYONE ELSE GOING THROUGH THIS :/

Know when you break up with someone and your committed on not going out with any guy cause guys are all the same and you kinda need a break from all the bullshit for a second and breath all the air around you? UGHHHH!! why do guys come to me like dogs trying to get food when im interested in someone, that i dont end up getting and then when I do go out with that person everyone hates em -.- this is becoming a veeeeeeeery tiring game.

can YOU THE PERSON I LIKE RIGHT NOW, JUST COME AND SWEEP ME OFF MY FEET?! LIKE ASAP :(

spooooooovveeeee!

Well, YES I MADE IT TO THE FINALS :D
LIKE THE FINALS FINALS, AS IN SUDAH JADI FASHION SHOW TERAKHR ON THE 28TH!!!!
HUAAAAAAAAA, IM SO HAPPY I GOT THIS FAR :)
but because of some issues, i dont think i will be going on to the next round cause of payment issues.
But this deff did not make my mood on continuing in this industry
Im casting for emeron maybe this week or next depends on my mood, hehhe
but i deff made a new cool friend.. and guess what guys?!
HER NAME IS ANGIE. ANGIE JAYA. lets hope this time it wont be as messed up as the last one

Well exams are coming and uan is on the 15TH OF MARCH!!! YALL'S AINT THAT CRAZY!?
but that dess boosted up my ambition on getting through with it and studying as hard as i can :)
how is everyone else doing lately? anything fun to share yall?!

remenicing

Its been a while since we've talked, but I know things are going to be allright
Im doing this, or better yet. WERE doing this because this is whats best for the two of us
I know were going to be heading to a lot of rocky roads, and this sure is one of them
This is the beginning of a new end.
Hopefully it will show us what were really in it for
I hope completely for the best of us
And all the things in mind are your well being
I love you and I always will
take good care of yourself over there :)

No matter what, im here.
Im NOT walking, running, jogging anywhere.
time is of the essence.
But you and me have all the time in the world



xoxxxxo

magnificant day :)

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE WITH HAPPINESS :)

Today has been the best experience yet so far
My walk on the cat walk was absolutely breath-taking *compared to my previous walk*
The confirmation of the people who won would be on tuesday. Even if I dont get out as a winner, I know the moment wore my hells and the moment i stepped my very foot on the stage that was the only thing I want to be doing in the near future.

This is me in the outfit :D

Yes im very stiff but this is me again

Im on the phone with my best friend/lover/soulmate/lifemate!
No matter what happens, Your the shoulder I always know I ALWAYS GO TO.
Fuck what people say, I LOVE YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT WERE GOING THROUGH
My unconditional love will always be there for you.
NO ONE WILL EVER REPLACE YOU NO MATTER WHAT POSITION HE WANTS.
I will be happy if your happy and if this situation were going through is going to help then im a 100% up for it.
Know that BOTH my phones are on 24/7 ready if you about to explode. Cause this time, ILL be the shoulder your going to be leaning on :)
xoxoxo

Anywhoooo, someone retarded called me last night
And thank god he did a really dumb mistake by secara nga langsung confirmed that he and my ex best friend is going out
CONGRAZ you both, you guys are ment to be with each other
Since both of you are so dumb enough to not tell me
Btw trash and trash can, I dont love you anymore. I would careless, but you just had to be so BAWAH YA DERAJATNYA gw skg malu bilang lo tu mantan gw
Im so happy that you are now..

SO, CONGRAZ. SEMOGA LANGGENG :)

an anxious wait

Alhamdullilah hirobilalamin gw terima babak penyisihan dan lulus dan tinggal fashion show this sunday
All the support I needed came all from my mom, and I just hope i do my best and make my momma proud if I win
My family aka sisters and brothers aren't really supportive of me taking a step close to my dream, but I guess that's how all stories begin don't they?
Well lets hope everything goes as plan

Of course this is the most awaited anticipated week of the year, its where I try something out of my own and try to fit in other boxes

Today I went to pacific place to meet up with a designer for one of the shops in pacific place which is also a very close and dear friend of my sister. And has a fascinating talk about the life of being a model. I guess there is more then meets the eye, and I have so much to learn and a process to undergo. But in the end, I ENDED UP BUYING A MANGO TANKTOP AND NEW CHARLES AND KEITH SHOES BARENGAN WITH MOMMA :D

Today just made my year so much better and more confident to battle it up with next years ambitious, competitive place in STN

All right guys I just got home at 10 and im reaaaaaaly extremely tired, so good night ya'll and wish me a huugeeeeeeeee enormous luuuuuuccccckkk on sunday :D

xoxoox

MUST LISTEN!!

Yes, i know some of you are still up on chris brown, but you guys have to admit. His new album is mad HOT! My recent listen would be crawl..

Everybody sees it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you havn't said it too

So where do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where can love take us now
And we've been so far down
We can still touch the sky

If we crawl
'till we can walk again
And we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
And we'll fly
Until there is no end
So let's crawl...crawl....crawl
Back to love
Yeah
Back to love
Yeah

Why did I change the pace
Hearts were never meant to race
Always felt the need for space
And now I can't reach your face

So where are you standing now
Are you in the crowd of my voice
Love can't you see my hand
Lend me one more chance
We can still have it all

So we'll crawl
Till we can walk around
And we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So let's crawl....crawl....crawl
Back to love
Yeah
Back to love
Yeah

Everybody sees it's you
Well I never wanna lose that view

So we'll crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So let's crawl....crawl...(crawl)

So we'll crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So let's crawl....crawl...(crawl)

Back to love....

month of fuuun :D

Ive been ballin' this month!

Things have been hectic since now i'm undergoing my hopes of one of my cita2, hopefully god see's how much compassion I have for it.
Ive been enjoying every single second of my time being busy and this is a once in a lifetime chance I get to say that im actually enjoy STUDYING
YES, STUDYING.

It all started when me ezra and yaya just volunteered on giving out undang's for bulcup and yaya of course took the north area, kelapa gading dan sekitar. And alhamdullilahnya we went to all the schools that we thought was possible, seriously anyone considering trying to drive with ezra THINK AGAIN. that guy is literally SLOW THINKING AND DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LEFT AND RIGHT, MHUAHUUAHAH.. But loyal-ie he stayed beside me and yaya's side and became our curhat trash. But it was good to know ezra is a sensative careless piece of asshole that destroyed citra of men. Thank you ezra. In the car we weren't alone, kita ditemenin temen gw ama ezra to get us around town, so that was fun. Thank you cinta for sparing your time with us. Your contribution of stupidity made our day..Great photo too bad we took it when we were all about to faint from exhaustion

Well anywho, School is getting sooooo much tougher and I am literally ON THE RUN on my eduction. Im going here and there just to go for les and soon my staturdays are also going to be filled with INTENSIVE SIMAK. GODDAMN MY WORLD! But dont worry mama papa, Ill be the yellow jakcets soon *amiiiiiin!*

The most dissapointing thing that happened to me this week would be the lost of a loved one, Im getting used to it. But he was very meaning full to me and he just fitted right there. That empty place that I thought would take a while to fill. Karma comes and go's, oh well.. Im getting better by the day and im enjoying the whole idea of being at one. ALONE :)

I've missed the internet and of course I have missed blogging, im starting to see the whole concept of blogging now, I think ill be seeing you guys veeery soon

Fresh off the block!

hey everyone!

I have finally dragged myself to use the computer, hahhaha

Its insane how lazy I'm even if I have everything already ready for me at home

Mom and pops and abang are off at umroh and Im chillin' at home with gugubi and pembantu's and my ma emi.. OHH! dont forget the pimp, pak solihin. hahhaa

You know when your parents are literally out of the country and you say you want to make a huge bash party at your place, but in the end.. end up not doing it at all? I found myself locking all the doors, even THE FRONT gate like my mom does every night just to make sure its oke. party is a total NONO!

Im sick and Im not feeling it with my boyfriend. Tomorrow is our 1 month anniversary and I have felt like being with him for 300 years. If his reading this, im sorry. I just don't think me and you can work any longer. Hey! at least we hit a month

I NEED TO STOP SHOPPING! ITS CRAZZY!

But did you all know, im actually really in it with my money now?

these pass few days

Its been really peculiar lately.

Ever since my cousin slept-over the house I have not been having any good rest at all. I would sleep at 1 and wake up at 6 and start my jogging. And I would not stop this routine for like 3 days straight! And my workout on yoga has intensed. I think something is really bothering me but I just cant put my finger on it. So im not putting and frustration on it, and just letting it come as it should. I've been focusing on family time and studying and like bonding with my girlfriends and of course imuh here and there. Just need time to relax and not jump to conclusions

Nothing special lately, but have been going through a HUGE delima. But what is there for love and war without confusion and tears?

one astonishing week

Its been a nice and calm week lately. I haven't been oh so crazy but i've had my fair share of fun. I hope you guys have been having that too :)

One thing i realized though, is that through anything or everything, there is always an end. or at LEAST a problem. In this case if you put too/so much effort or passion or feeling everything will just end up a big mess. And with this guy, not my so-called boyfriend right now, really showed me how impossibly destructive, heartless a boy can get. I wont call him a man, cause i basically think he isn't. When you put all of that out for that one thing you dream or of you aim for, you in the end get it one way or another. But at the end of that journey there is always 2 endings, either your happy that you got it or your depressed and you got it. And at this point in my journey, im just done. Im tired of knowing at the end of the road that ties me and him up, something is just always there. something dangling, something untrustworthy. And this also shows that men can't also be trusted. Have you ever had a feeling that something is up, something strange is up but you have no evidence to back it up, but that feelings so strong that you know your right? Exactly how I feel right now. No matter what excuse that person is going to give to me, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

Its not the effort I give to the relationship that matters, its all the lies you got yourself caught up that you don't realize the person or thing you love is hurt.

A lot of things has been on my mind, but then again maybe its cause Im starting school soon. But I also need to keep in mind that I need to focus. I gotta keep my eye on the price. And its really astonishing that I have to deal with all these crappy feelings NOW when im about to head back to school. I was hoping for a at least a peaceful welcome-back sign, but all that anyones giving me is an alert-you-shall-die sign. Great. Another shitiiiiieeee week in the day of a life of dantha. Great.

J-town

Im writing in black cause I don't know what color im feeling right now

Im back from detoxing myself with my family members, on my way back to jakarta I took a different way. I took the train and the bus and it showed how much people in jakara are just big assholes who complain and not realizing it WAS THEIR decision.

I went home with my older cousin yang cuma beda ber2apa bulan with me and im extremely shocked on how grown and mature he has gotten

I should spend time more with my family

Lebaran showed me how much we all gotten so apart at times, its devastating

I have been enjoying bandung to the fullest lately, maybe its cause i FINALLY WENT TO THE STORE HAPPY GO LUCKY :D

good stuff there, should've gotten their sweater.

how was everyones lebaran? best wishes from me :)

Im about to have a really LOONG AND EXHAUSTING WEEK

today I have to be at places see people talk to people, shit at people.

And im veeeeery tired already. Hoping at the end of the week I can get a quick getaway before heading back to school

speaking of school, I cant wait to see everyone :)

anywhooo I leavt J-town for only a couple of days almost a week and i found a trend alert :D

THIS IS JUST MAGNIFICENT!!! My fav this week

and not to forget my oh so hot and oh so loving..

wish come true

Wishes DO come true!!!!

finally I get lounge into freedom of the swimming pool and nice calm apartments :D

It was the first time I went with the bus but it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be

here are so photos..

man was I in peace and relaxation! ready for tomorrow yalls :D

cha china bada bing bing!

In need of self-relaxation

Yesterday made me realize how much one person aka my mba does for a day, and comes to appreciate what she does in this. nontheless, MBA COME BACK HOME :'(

Me and mom spent the day yesterday doing the house chorus, it was good exercise but the pain in my hand and the cape-ness in my body was unbearable.

AND NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN MY HAMSTERS :(

seriously if this month is all about being at home and getting tired INSIDE the house, then its meaning less. ughhhhh!! tireeeeeeeeeeed..

RAMDAHAN :)

Its been a hell of a while since my last post that stirred some mess up, but no matter. Its VA-CA, the only thing that can wash away my disappointments. Lately I have been hectic and crazy over exams which eventually, ALHAMDULLILAH remednya SO FAR cuma ada 2. dan agama pas2 an 70, which is kinda lame.

Well today im probably heading to abang's apartment to have buka puasa with his clients and of course ka edu, ka didi, and ka christina. But im actually considering just going there for the free food and some pool time. I have been missing some of those alone times and is die-ing for one. This year's rahmadan month, I have been going out sooo much that I forgot to stay home with family and taking care of the house. Hopefully a day or two before I mudik tanggal 17 Ill be able to help mama with the house. BTW mba rini, MY LOVELY AND KNOWS HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH MBA MUDIK :(( AND I MISS HER LIKE CRAZY!!!

Its unbelievable what 3rd grade high school could do to your last year in high school. Im slowly watching everything I have fade away, better yet. Going through a stage of metamorphosis. And going through a 3rd one doesn't make it any easier. I wish this could go faster and with time grow into a beautiful and loving experience

By the way bloggers, have you noticed that im very much NOT SINGLE ???

ehahahaha, my stupid BF asked me out on the 9th. How cliche, ey :D

I hope when her reads this he'll be at home and smiling to himself

something to cheer everyone up, me and nyla took some photos a couple of days ago. bad park, cool photos

ching ching, bada-bing bing!

Agrovating attempt to get back on track, alone

Ever had a best friend that could understand you?

feel what you feel?

act the way you know they would?

care for the things you do?

well, I HAD one

Until I found out that me and her are really different.

I started to get away from her cause I knew she started talking behind my back, did childish acts, were uncaring and unreliable.

How sad that every hope I put on her faded?

She was the one everyone knew I was close with and understood me well.

And she knew my good and bad and my up's and down's.

I felt like I had known her forever.

But I guess what you felt in the friendship wasn't what she though or respected.

Out of all of this, all I wanted was her to talk to me and ask me about it.

And wow, what a good friend. she didn't.

I bet she's reading this, and i bet she's reading everything about me.

I wouldn't believe in any shit or comments she going to make, cause i simply know the truth about what she has in her mind and i wouldn't care anymore.

The truth is slowly and dissaperingly gone.

My trust is over.

I guess sometimes the people you felt was there, just wasn't

She's prob going to call her best friend and talk about it some more and gossip about it some more and talk about it some more and gossip about it some more.

Yet again, what else is there you do other then that?

Trash talking about my negativity would probably be her cure against the truth that me and her use to be friends.

She was nice and really cool with everything. She was funny and extremely dumb, but she had feelings and was very judgmental. She had a courage and a bold one. She had feelings that no one knew.

But again, I did.

And I didnt talk about her or her negativity to anyone else, cause I RESPECTED HER TRUST AND ACTUALLY didn't want to make her look bad

And i was wrong.

friends? sure.

purple

cannot believe I love purple like i do now :D

ayi my tukang jait came by and dropped my dress cause of course i couldn't fix it, huhuhuuuu

so here it is!!

what do you think :)

singapore the city of passion and depression, hahaha :)

Im here in my hotel, and i'm in my room using the laptop that marriott borrowed. and yes cause my phone is a bitch, hahah..

Well Im having a great time here for the second and last night here im very much going to enjoy it. I did a little shopping remedy and going to go in a little dip in a sec, but no matter how far I go to the length of a different country I still feel like there's something wrong that I can't seem to fix or mend :(

I hate that feeling.

Irratation that burns and pains the human feeling.

MY feelings.

I have told everyone that came close to me, that I give my trust 100% to you until you destroy it and lose every single percent you can imagine. But down the road, you gain more and more experience and you make a pattern in your brain and heart of the people you trust and not. But it back tracks you when the person you came to trust a whole lot and became close tight friends, just seem to throw it down the drain. Is that person hoping we can have the same relationship? I don't know, but so far I don't have anything to tell me or convince me that it would be back as it use to. I have been backstabbed a lot, but nothing hurts more then getting backstabbed by your best friend

Guess no matter how well you know the person, everyone inside still have and has a dirty little secret. A secret other might not tolerate.

Great i'm on vaca, about to swim and all I think is this.

Last but not least, MINALAIDIN WALFAIZIN YAAA SEMUANYA :)

besok mau puasa, so I hope by this bulan rahmadan we find ourself in islam and find our way. semoga iman kita bertambah kuat.

happy puasa everyone :)

high school melt down

Its crazy and hectic these pass few weeks because I have been trying to find the right uni's and taking every single step with caution. And making sure I don't lose my time doing some stupid stuff that doesn't have any reason to waste on.

I have been signed on to take my A's levels, SATS and also UNI's like UGM and Ui. jurusan hukum and i don't know how it will turn out. It irratates me that I don't have a good grip on my future and it gives me such a negative feedback. Im soooo scared and trying to best and hardest on studying but just the thought of not understanding math and physics kills me! what if I don't pass?!

Im at my lowest point, acme. What do i do?

surreal

Have you ever felt being leavt behind by the people that are very close and dear to you?

well I have.

3 days straight.

And it feels like their souls are stuck to my house and my everyday routine

yes that sounds good, but it FEELS weird and not right.

I miss them like crazy and its soooooo nerve-racking to find that you were sooo emotionaly attached that you forgot that if they leavt you, a part of you also leaves

Its mesmerizing to know that through the 9 months my sister has been here, me and here made all the connections that were lost for the 3-4 years we've been apart. And the most scariest thing in my mind right now is knowing I will do the exact same thing to my little sister. I guess this is what's called family, and im very fortunate to be able to appreciate it and understand it at this age. I hope that through this stage in life, I DONT make a stupid mistake again and fail. But I realized my family has accepted me for what Im, and they seem to know something I don't. And I guess thats my next anticipation.

I love you teh, uma, jeka. And you are everything to me, and my guidance through everything. And no matter where you guys leave, know that even if i make these stupid mistakes, everything you have taught me is all within me. And I will cherish and keep everything close to my heart.

See you all in the 3 years, don't worry guys ill do great with everything you have given :)

Departures

God its been long since I wrote.

Mad long yoooo :D

How is everyone doing? I hope you guy have been loving school lately

no?

Things have not been on a very friendly bases lately, and I cant stop wondering how everything that was so fine ended up so tragic. Well there's this mis-understanding issue going around, AGAIN. And Im just SOOOOOOOO OVER the whole be-on-one-side trademark now and I seriously don't want to be in this anymore. I hope tomorrow everything will be alright and in the end this whole problem can just fade away. Its not me being all wanting-to-know bullshit but I feel a little torn and responsible for what's happening. And it breaks my heart that what we have hoped never would happen, happened. I hope I didn't do anything stupid to make this whole big problem another big mess!

Well on other terms, MY BIG SISTER WHO IS IN TOTAL HAVE STAYED FOR ALMOST 8 MONTHS IS GOING BACK TO THE STATES :((

AND UMA IS LEAVING TOOOOO ON WEDNESDAY!!!!

everyone is like leaving me here to ROOOOOOOOOT!!

Im trying to get a new study-plan going on but I cant seem to get on it :/

OH BTW IF YOU GUYS DONT KNOW, REGGIE BUSH AND KIM KARDASHIAN BROKE UP :(((

sickness, illness

I extremely hate those two words!

SICKNESS AND ILLNESS

And im getting em', guess from who!?

yes who else, other then my teteh!

I didn't know it was going to be that bad right, and it turns out IM sick at home and not at school havin' fun like the rest :(

But all is well since i feel way better!

SWEAT SWEAT SWEAT :D

I hope i get better like for tomorrow, CAUSE I CANT WAIT TO GO TO SCHOOL :D

WOHOOOOOOOO!

Harry potter is out now in studios, ALL MUST WATCH! Because there i just 2 more movies and its all coming to an end. huhuuuhuuu

Btw I saw this guy from popsugar.com and Im shocked I haven't seen this cute little man before, OH! and may remind you, i DONT know his name. ahhaha

losing control

Well its already the second day of school and I feel like shit. I don't think Im getting good positive vibe's or aura from the people around me. which obviously is NOT a good sign :(

And Im questioning all thats happening around me right now, Don't know if its for the better of for the fact that its going to hit me real hard in the face

Well ratri and yasmine said i should always think positive as I always do and leave all the bullshit behind, But yet i don't know how Im going to do that

and of course since you all know Im like starting to ngjait and its crazy my new project would be... Im crazy and lovin' the style :D

Well I want to say HI! and congraz to this couple who's girl's tummy is getting bigger :D

school pride

So today was the first day of school and it was, kindaaaa weird.

Well im not going to like comment on the teachers cause its the first day and its 3rd grade of high school, i'm just really focusing on getting out and studying really hard to get good grades.

THEY CHANGED THE MATH AND PHYSICS TEACHER WHICH MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER :D

*no offense

Well my HAMSTERS HAVE 4 KIDS NOW, WHICH MEAN I HAVE 4 GRANDCHILDREN :D

YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO HAVE SOMETHING TO GO BACK AND WATCH IT GROW :D

I have pay for GO and get started with the les cause i cant stand not going out and be at home and like don't understand shit.

How is everyones weekend?

I haven't been getting good dreams lately..

So my first dream was about going to a hotel in vegas with a couple of friend and jesse and jesse's like friend, and i somehow got the empty room all to myself. When i went to the window to check how it was, and wanted to go back to the bed. MY room was flooded with water, and all of a sudden in stuck in like an aquarium and everyone is watching without expression and no one was helping me. And i was stuck in it with snakes bitting me :(

The next day i dreamt that me angie and arlin and my little cousins were in the jungle and we were like playing and was supposed to go back and all of sudden it was just me and my little boy cousin lost and i took him with me and all of a sudden crocodiles came and we had to dodge them!

seriously things are getting out of hand and when i checked it turns out that when you dream about:

snakes: If the dream is, you got bitten by a living snake, that means i sccumb to evil influences and enemies will injure your business.

crocodile: means YOU ARE SURROUNDED WITH EVIL-MINDED PEOPLE.

wow really makes me look forward to days in school

In hell

Well yes as it is on my tittle, coming back home is like letting myself get or put back in hell or jail.

Im home from bogor and kuningan and jawa and its been a great trip.

I had fun with my cousins, and I kinda missed that THEY ARE AS OLD AS ME AND AS CRAZY AS ME :D

So they took me around bogor and saw their little ''hangout'' place, ahahha. It was ballin'

Hopefully I'd be out of the house today headin' to bandung with my cousins again and be ballin' AGAIN :D

Cant wait bangeeeeeeeeeeeeeet nih hangin' around with them and doing crazy shit!

HARI INI PEMILIHAN PRESIDENT!!!

YOU GUYS ALL BETTER PICK SBY!!!! AYOOOOO! LANJUTKAAAAN!

p.s. I found this artist on TV and his voice is amazing! one of his songs is i love i think its called superstar. and the artist is....